Uncomfortably numb

Sitting in circle last week I had a reading .

Beautiful lady looked into my eyes and said..

I want to say you have lost half…. Of yourself.’

Can you take that?

She asked..

That is so accurate.

Yes I can take it I smiled.

My best poker face.

She has no idea, no one has, not really.

I miss you.

I miss the half of you that was me.

You always said we were meant to be together.

Well this is a shit way for you to prove your point Donna.

I miss opening the door to you moaning about the state of the tow path.

I miss you badgering me to straighten your hair..

You asking me for a cwch.

The top of your head fitting under my chin

Breathing in the smell of your hair.

Sitting together,

Making up some really stupid fact to tell you then laughing because you’d believe me.

Lying on the grass watching clouds finding pictures.

Your random facts and infectious giggle

I hear you saying you know I’m right boi!

You texting me , sending me songs ..glitter in the air…

Our granddaughter Emilia is looking more and more like you everyday

That’s such a comfort.

But I still miss us.

Me without you

How can that be?

I got into my little van packed lunch and a flask to go off with my dog and maybe camp.

Found myself just sat for a min.. lost in the silence

‘ your supposed to be there on that seat beside me I say out loud to you.

I feel your hand squeeze mine

I’m here you tell me .

The sun is shining.

But I’m sure it was brighter when you were here.

2 thoughts on “Uncomfortably numb

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