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I’m sitting here relaxed watching David Tennant in Des.
Absolutely best thing I’ve watched in ages.
Window is open
We here a loud splash.
Brian the cat has fallen in the canal chasing mice again.
Within a minute he’s out.
He comes bounding over the garden wall like a bloody racehorse.
Through window ginger cat dripping dirty canal water comes flying at me over back of the sofa..
Dripping wet…. He looks at me and drops a still live mouse on my boobs I’m wearing a sun dress.
Wet mouse crawls in-between my boobs .
Mavis the dog runs away.
I jump up mouse drops out of my dress onto sofa. It lies there stunned.
I’m swearing at knob head wet ginger cat.
I scoop the stunned mouse up.
With old towel.
He’s stopped moving.
Everywhere is soaking .
Brians so pleased with himself!
I’m reiking the mouse who it’s soon apparent is dead.
My hubby is laughing so much he’s crying..
Surreal moment of.
Is this really my bloody life!
What a year.
We are indeed living in very strange times.
Back in March when the U.K went into lockdown it was particularly difficult for us as we had just suffered a horrendous flood.
everywhere closed including builders supplies and we were left in a wet cottage with rats for guests and no way of getting any help to improve our living conditions.
My husband joked we were safe from the virus as no way would it survive in our street .
So as always we just got on with it.
My Mam used to say no good moaning about something you’ve no control over.
This was one of those times.
The weather was kind so we got on with things outside fixing fences painting the cancer retreat.
Most of residents in canalside had moved out. Until their houses were dried out and renovated.
Around six families stAyed mainly because we had no where else to go.
It was quite surreal, Eerie at times. The usual people passing everything had stopped.
But the sky’s grew bluer no chemetrails or clouds. I haven’t seen clear blue sky’s like that since I was a kid in the 70s.
No planes no pollution, then there were reports of sheep walking in Main Street in towns little things made me smile.
Dolphins in the canals in Venice.
Pubs were shut, kids play centres , cinemas.
People were allowed out for hour each day to walk exercise .
We began to see families walking together.
On social media photos were being posted of flowers , plants food.
I believe in every bad situation there is something positive.
Here were all these tiny things making a difference.
The market traders from Neath started delivering fresh fruit and veg.
Neighbours shopped for each other.
We reassured each other.
Spiritually I believed there was a mass awakening happening.
People realising that there is so much more to life than materialistic stuff.
People matter not things.
I missed my grandchildren terribly
Slowly things started to change I prayed that the world was changing into a better pace.
It seemed that way.
Now we are in September restrictions are tightening again.
I’m not surprised saddened but not surprised the u.k government predicted this back in March. It seems a little to planned .
Masks are now mandatory .
It’s all a mess
If as they originally said virus isn’t air born it’s a surface contaminant what is the point of a mask.
If they do work why didn’t they recommend back in March.
The sad part is all the good that came in the first wave seems to have been swallowed up now by hatefulness
The mask police ordinary people attacking others regarding masks.
Demanding to know if someone isn’t wearing one WHY.
Makes me ashamed to be human
Some people are exempt for many reasons.
None of which should be questioned or held accountable by Joe Blogs outside the Spar shop.
Rape victims , child abuse victims, people with extreme anxiety COPD asthma are exempt.
Should they have to wear a label a badge ….NO THEY SHOULDN’T please don’t be one of there jumped up mask police.
Mind your own buisness look after yourself and your own.
Who are any of us to judge anyone else..
Remember before all this started a lovely young woman Caroline Flack committed suicide because of the way she was treated in the media.
She was vulnerable but no one could see quite how much.
She took her own life because of the way she was treated by other who didn’t even know her,
After it happened the #BeKind campaign started, there were t shirts
#BeKind trended on Twitter , articles were wrote and people cried NEVER AGAIN.
Yet here we are…
these are indeed strange time.
But don’t let that have a negative effect on the way you treat people.
Think before you speak.
Sometimes it’s best if you can’t say something positive.
Don’t get caught up with the bitching of the masses .
Because one day when all this is over.
Future generations ask about what you did during the pandemic
Let your stories be kind ones.
So in this month online Hypnotherapy column of the fabulous Emma Heaven magazine come with me to your inner temple and meet your spirit guide.
So pull up a chair or lie somewhere comfortable and relax.
Follow the link below
If there is a subject you’d like to see covered e mail me Joolz at
Brians home fine.. sigh .
Came in loudly shouting for food.
And is now cwtched on the sofa with his girl Mavis.
I’m so very relieved.
I’ve told him he’s grounded! 🙈🐈
I make wire wrapped crystals .
To raise money to help us run our cancer retreat.
I’ve just got new stock.
I’m in heaven.
Only problem is I make things then want to keep them!
So if you’d like to buy yourself or a loved one something special.
Drop me a line.
I can custom make you a pendant
Or supply you with a favourite crystal.
You can e mail me at.
F.b Ravens Retreat
Behind our cottage is a old disused collery train track.
The track is level with apex of the houses .
So pretty steep to climb up.
I’ve just climbed up there for the seventh time today.
Pitch dark up a steep bramble and ivy covered bank .
Cursing as I go .
I’m fifty bloody five I’m huffing and puffing talking to myself.
Falling over my long hippy dress as I heave myself up to the top.
I stand for a minute and let my eyes grow accustomed to the dark.
The crunchy stones either side of the track seem steeper than this afternoon as I climb over into the middle of the tracks .
The row of cottages now look tiny.
I’ve forgotten my phone.
Great I say to myself don’t bloody fall no bugger knows your up here.
It’s quite a warm night the sky is clear and I start to walk carefully along the track.
Walking beside me is my cat Lucifer balencing on the track like a feline gymnast .
On the other side of the line is a huge triangle of waste land densely covered with trees, brambles and bushes .
The slop down there is even steeper than the one down to our house.
But it’s the place where my youngest cat Brian hides out when my female black cat Luna chases him.
I usually go over there give him a shout and I hear him instantly he answers when I call him .
He is a year old and the most loving cat, vocal and funny.
Lucifer is the eldest he’s almost five beautiful but quite aloof Luna my black.cat is three .
She is a warrior she hates everyone and everything.
Apart from me.
Brian knows this.
It’s her fault I’m up here..
Brian I call and whistle but there is no sign of him.
I haven’t seen him for 24 hours .
Luna appears walks on opposite track to Lucifer.
Great if he’s about he definitely won’t come out now!.
You’d think by now she would accept him
I’m worrying my hubby however isn’t.
He’s a cat.
He will be back .
He’s sat in the cottage warm whilst I’m up here like some crazy cat lady .
Walking the line and stopping to watch the bats..
I make my way home and by luck more than judgement I slide back down the banking into our garden
No sign I tell Jeff .
You worry more about that cat he says ..
Yes I do ..
Fingers crossed he will be home .
If not I’ll be back up the tracks in the morning.
Photo my granddaughter
Emilia with Lucifer
So what a year 2020.has been.
Strange and surreal .
All of our usual adventures were sadly canceled due to lock down in u.k.
So Beltane and other events in Glastonbury were missed for the first time in many many years.
I have always had an affinity with this beautiful town it’s many temples the Tor, it’s eclectic high street filled with every esoteric item any witch, druid, pagan could ever need or desire .
But more than that it’s the chilled out atmosphere total relaxation, and the way that every visit I make a new friend or three.
So yesterday my hubby Jeff and I with two friends travelled down for the weekend.
As soon as the car was parked and I was in sight of the Tor that familiar wave of calm washed over me.
No work, no bills no stress about floods rivers and usual worry..
Complete and utter bliss.
Do you have somewhere that’s your chill out place?
I think we all have one.
So after a wonder around the chalice well gardens and a night I’m George and pilgrim hotel I’m feeling fab refreshed.
Tonight we plan to use the spirit board in the haunted room slept in by Henry eighth
I’ll let you know how that goes 🙏
So I have to admit I’m beginning to panic.
It’s never a good thing and considering I’m a glass half full kinda girl..
Well actually I’m more of a grateful I’ve got a bloody glass at all!
As you know we are fighting the powers that be council, natural resources Wales,about lack of flood prevention.
Michael sheen has been helping us.
We have registered as a c.i.c
And we are awaiting reports and modeling from the above.
Today we had a reply from natural resources which stopped me in my tracks ..
I felt physically sick.
To cut a long and scary story short.
If the wall on the river bank fails..
And it’s only a very bad storm away from doing so
Our beautiful little street becomes a branch of the river Neath .
Very quicky the water will rise to bedroom hight .
What the actual f@@k.
We have elderly residents, young families and cancer retreat here.
The retreat I run will be closed after next week.
It’s breaking my heart
But seriously someone will be hurt drowned or killed before these bloody heads of councils .
Natural resources Wales get their heads out of their arses and stop making excuses.
I’m raising money to try to relocate our cancer retreat.
Somewhere safe I found a old chapel up on the mountain today £100k but it would be perfect.
And enough space for a caravan for us to live.
I really didn’t want to leave but this news is just too much.
We need help.
Before national resource Wales are responsible for loss of life .
I’m a celebrant weddings hand fastings and funerals..
But I’m also a great believer of rites of passage.
Sadly they seem to have been lost to most folks.
Even sadder some don’t know what they are.
I mentioned to a friend this week that we were planning a croneing ritual for one of our coven members a mutual friend invited her to come along.
A what? She said.
Your celebrating getting old?
She looked somewhat puzzled.
Getting old..sigh ..
Well yes but that’s not quite how I’d describe it.
As pagans we acknowledge and worship the old gods and goddesses.
Particularly the three stages of the goddess.
Trinity if you like.
Maiden , Mother, Crone.
Each stage has a rite of passage for each stage marks a milestone.
But the Croneing well .
What can I say..
It’s amazing we have traveled through life, as the Maiden full of wonder new beginnings,
Then mother nurturing children, or careers, beliefs
Now we are entering crone stage comfortable in our skin, and beliefs, we are now filled with a lifetime of experience, love, loss, creativity. All of it within us.
We know what we like.
Who we are.
We are healers teacher wise woman elder of our coven our tribe our families.
What’s not to honour to celebrate?
So at the end of September in a field barefoot .
We will stand a circle of women.
Welcoming our sister Sam into her croneing years.
Welcoming her as an elder
Valuing her knowledge, wisdom her life.
Holding her in love and light as we dance around the fire.
Drumming and chanting
For we are not just sisters .
Maidens mother’s crones
We are one.
Im never suprised at the magical way that strangers walk into our lives and become friends.
Friends that make a huge difference at just the right time.
Yesterday was one of those times.
So months ago i got a call from one of my best friends sharon she was away on holiday in France.
She was beside herself one of her beloved dogs cookie had become ill and sadly may not recover so she needed me to drop off some of the CBD oil I make to help with the pain over night until she could get home the day after.
Given the fact that i work as a soul midwife and im often there beside patients when they take their last breath.
Im completely different when it comes to dogs.
I asked myself why and I think its because working with people who are end of life they know whats happening and can express how they feel, what they need.
Tell me how bad the pain is.
If they need more medication ect.
So I rush over to my friends house where Cookie is being cared for by my friends daughter and Bethan who is a friend of hers I’ve heard of but havnt met.
Cookie is lying on her bed still manages to wag her tail as i sit down beside her.
Im convinced she knew exactly what was going on as those huge soul full eyes looked at me as if to say dont worry.
I sat with her has we chatted I whispered to her that her mam was on way home and Bethan put a little of the CBD oil onto a baby bell cookies favorite treat and it disapeared quickly.
It wasnt long before Cookie settled and I left leaving my number telling Bethan and Emily to add my on Facebook to ring if they needed me.
I stand at the door saying goodbye to the two girls sat on the floor beside cookie and feel the same room full of love as i do when im sat with a person.
Cookie was up on her legs that afternoon and was with us for a few more weeks before sadly she left us.
She had been my friends first dog rescued just before she has retiered fron the NHS
I think in reality they rescued each other.
Cookie had an amazing life, beach walks, lots of fuss and equally I know gave so much in return.
Now fast forward.
Over a year later.
Im friends with Bethan on social media but we havnt seen each other since that afternoon when we met.
We have commented on-line on each others statuses on social media
Photos, events ect.
Last week comments turned to chat as Bethan was having trouble sleeping.
Maybe the CBD oil may help I suggested.
So we arraned that she would call over at bank holiday to pick it up.
There has been alot happening since we saw each other last.
Storn callum ruined our street, ive nursed quite few end of life patients and officiated at their funerals.
Nursed my father in law.
Rebuilding our homes.
Life goes on.
I try not to worry about big things that are out of my control.
I trust in the universe, not just trust I completely believe that if we focus on a positive outcome for ourselves and our dreams then thats what we will get.
Like attracts like..
If we focus on negative then guess what..
You get the picture.
Despite this its still hard to cope with the current situation.
Possibility of a compulsory purchase order.
Loosing our homes
And our cancer retreat.
Our friends our community or tribe and life on the canal.
Still im careful with my words.
Whatever the universe holds for me im never given anything im not strong enough to handle.
So yesterday we finished painting the garden wall.
The crow cottage is now purple.
It looks amazing
The sun is shining its bank holiday Monday
Bethans first time on our canal.
Isnt it lovely when someone sees something for the first time.
‘Its not what i expected’ she says
Its that canalside magic.
She comes in we sit and chat over a cup of tea.
I give her the oil and she passes me a small gift bag.
Its a book she says,
I loved it so ive bought a few for friends.
Have you heard of it?
The boy the mole, the fox and the horse.
By clarlie mackesy.
Inside there is a lotto ticket
You may win she smiles.
Im so humbled by her kindness.
We walk from my house to the healing cabin i love peoples reaction the first time they enter.
She loves it and i have a feeling she will be back.
We hat and she tells me that from our first merting with cookie shes bern trying to work out where she knows me from.
Work? Where she lives with her mother, where i used to live, friends, family perhaps.
No none of the above.
Ill think where from i joke as she leaves probably at three in the morning.
And off she goes.
So here is the thing.
Today i get up feeling dreadful
Aching generally out of sorts.
I dont know what ails me i tell my daughter on tbe phone.
I run a hot bath fill it with Epsom salt and a hsnd full of herbs
Pick up the book gifted to me yesterday
The boy the mole, the fox and tbe horse.
Lie in tbe warm soothing water and read.
Its a beautiful book beautiful drawings and printed as if written by fountain pen.
Im reminded as i read of that cosmic divine connections.
We are all connected.
Like rain drops running down a window pane.
Merging into one.
I think of my friend sharon
I met her in work NHS mental health team
She sat on desk oposite.
Through her and Cookie i met Bethan.
All rain drops
Im sitting in a warm bath holding a book.
I remember Bethans words hope it helps..
Warm tears run down my face into the bath water.
Thank you Bethan
It helped more than you can know.